Thursday, July 2, 2009


I am lucky.
I was thinking about this last night...I have three beautiful kids. I had three healthy, uncomplicated pregnancies. I have a loving husband. We have a house in a safe neighborhood with good schools. I am fortunate to be able to stay at home.
I know that I, like many, spend a lot of time complaining about not having enough money, not having enough time, not having enough peace and quiet...but when I think about NOT having what I have, it is so scary. I know too many people who have lost children. That should not even be a sentence anyone has to write...LOST CHILDREN.
For me, the very first Mommy Blog I ever got "hooked" on was Jenny Scott. I read about Allie every day and she was similar in age to my oldest...when she passed away, I felt like my heart broke. I cried. I did a Light the Night walk...and I have never forgotten the impact that was made on my life because of her. Since then, I have encountered countless other blogs which I love...and some of those blogs include people who have lost. I love to read about Matt and Madeline and to see all of the pictures of that gorgeous baby who looks just like her gorgeous Mama. It seems so unfair to me that she never got to see that baby grow...and then I started reading about the adorable little Madeline Spohr who was more full of life and energy than any kid I know...and then when she passed away, I was struck again with how quickly it all can end. Everything that makes your life YOURS can be gone in an instant. I don't know how you deal with that...maybe no one does.
Last summer, our neighbors lost one of their three sons to a terrible accident. I didn't know them very well then...just polite hellos and the occasional chit-chat. I was outside the day the dad got the call. I watched him grab his younger son and jump in the car and drive as fast as he could...and then I saw his car come home very late that night. I saw the news headline, "Local Boy Dies" and I could not wrap my mind around that headline. That boy was JUST here...he was playing basketball in his driveway...he was asking to ride his skateboard in my driveway...and now. . . gone. His parents were doing normal, everyday things like mowing their grass and going to the gym and their whole lives came crashing down around them.
And then just before Memorial Day, my 25 year old cousin...who had a baby on the way...was killed instantly in a car accident that wasn't even his fault.
I don't think I am immune. I know this kind of thing can happen to anyone at any time. It is scary and real...and I think I need to try harder to ignore the things that might annoy me on a daily basis and focus on the amazing family that I am blessed to have. I need to appreciate them more and remember that what I have isn't a right or a guarantee, but a blessing.

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